addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize