Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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