And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
