This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
