there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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