Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
