Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
