I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
