kristin has been a bad kristin
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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