the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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