What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
