Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
