Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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