then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
