We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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