I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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