Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
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