i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
