we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
as a side note pls kill me
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