Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
