you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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