mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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