They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
