What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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