I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
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