At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
