Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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