I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
50% drunk capacity currently
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
