Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
