have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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