Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
