help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Be still, my beating vagina.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Sorry about my life...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
