I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
