i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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