Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
