just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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