Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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