Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Everything about him screamed your future.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
