i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
