Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I am spending my child support on dildos
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
