Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
