After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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