oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There r osticjed everywhere
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
