So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
