I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
