That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
