then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
