i wish peter jackson would direct porn
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
