I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
