how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
