i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
