Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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