Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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