so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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