i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
