Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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