shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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