I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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