I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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