when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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