Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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