you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
