You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
