sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
