They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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