Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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