he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
