hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The maid of honor just puked.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
