I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize