How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize