Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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