thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
