Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
