i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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