you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
