Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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