is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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