Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
