I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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