my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
