she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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