Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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