I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
